Love, Life, Happiness, and other stuff
by silverfox98
Summary: My one-shots, drabbles, and other responses to challenges on all-kinds of forums! This is proof of my craziness! Will contain multiple pairings and the rating ranges from K-T. Nothing bad.
1. How you do Australia!

Disclaim: I disclaim.

Prompt: Girls of Harry Potter Competition- Blaise/Ginny, didgerideroo

Rating: K+

Summary: Lost in Australia, Ginny just wants to go home and have a nice chilled butterbeer, Blaise on the other hand, couldn't care less.

Due: July 3rd

"This is all your fault you know," hissed an irate Ginny Weasley as she and her useless Italian partner trudged through the Australian heat wave with sweat pouring down their face and bodies, clothes plastered to their backs.

"And how," Blaise asked imperiously, delicately wiping his forehead with an embroidered handkerchief,"is this all my fault?" He didn't even bother to gesture to the barren land, focusing his sole attention on not collapsing from exhaustion. Ginny just shook her fiery head, her hole face glowing as red splotches covered her sun burnt cheeks.

"If you didn't decide that it would be a bloody AMAZING idea to chase the serial killer to AUSTRALIA, then you thought it would be a BRILLIANT idea to go look at the 'scenery' when we couldn't find a trace of him, then we wouldn't be stuck in the middle of NOWHERE burning into fried fish sticks!" She snarled, having no real energy to argue as she weakly poked a finger to his muscled chest before walking again.

Blaise just shrugged, pushing raven hair out of his eyes before stalking up to her; even dying of heat he did have some dignity. That said dignity didn't stop him from asking with confusion muddling his drooping eyes, "What the hell are fish sticks?"

…

"Oh, thank Merlin," breathed Ginny, as she and her idiot partner caught sight of a traveler walking down quite a large mountain, jabbering with another man as they walked. The sun had started to set, casting an eerie glow on the land, as the two Auror's pulled the last of their energy into running towards the Aborigines.

"Oi!" yelled Blaise, stalking over, his black hair falling into his eyes as he waved his hand for the two to stop.

"It's time's like these where I wish I could use my wand," sighed Ginny, hurrying over, as the two elders stared in shock, intrigue, and confusion at the two red, sun beaten, British foreigners. The moment that the two had crossed the invisible line bordering Australia, their wands had immediately stopped working, leaving them defenseless and without any means to communicate with the Ministry.

"How Muggles survive is beyond me," bemoaned Ginny, shaking her head in confusion.

Blaise chose not to comment, instead hurrying over to the two others. He was a sight, black hair stuck to his olive skin with sweat. He long ago had discarded his robe, unable to take the radiating heat, and was left in slacks and a white shirt buttoned open, leaving Ginny a nice glimpse of glowing skin and quite a nice six pack... No, we are not going there, thought Ginny as she sidled up next to her partner who was trying (but not succeeding) to communicate with the confused and clueless men. Both had hair like a giant cotton balls, black hair curled tightly around their heads and weathered skin. They wore brown robes and each held a stick-thingy as a herd of sheep stood behind them, baa-ing clueless to the comotion. 

"We, are, trying, to, find, civ-il-i-za-tion," said Blaise comically, drawing all the vowels out and speaking incredibly slow as the Australians watched him with curious eyes.

"You are not from here are you?" said the tallest one in crisp English tainted with a slight Australian accent. His partner grinned at the taken aback wizard/witches. Ginny giggledunder her breath at Blaise's horrified expression at being humiliated by Muggles. Pushing the frozen Blaise, who was still trying to collect his scattered wit, pride, and ego, out of the way, Ginny smiled sweetly, trying to ignore the perspiration dripping in her eyes,

"No, we are not from here," she said mournfully, wiping her brow dramatically at the amused faces of the natives, "We are trying to find our way back to the city." The tall one, Adoni, nodded in understanding, saying in his deep voice,

"You can't not go back without a mode of transportation." At Ginny's forlorn expression and raised hand ready to slap the cold-faced man, he hurriedly gestured to the sun, as Balun answered,

"We can still help you." Ginny immediately dropped her ready fingers (if somewhat reluctantly), and grinned widely at the prospect of leaving this devil's haven. Blaise just nodded curtly, and snapped,

"So when can we leave this damn place?"

"Soon." was all Adoni said. Balun on the other hand, brushed a curl out of his hazel eyes and walked leisurely towards one of the sheep, blissfully unaware of Ginny and Blaise's humiliated, annoyed, and all together irritated state of being. Adoni stared dreamily at the sun as it slowly set, watching from his peripheral vision, the tense Aurors.

Balun came back some time later (two minutes) and Blaise snapped irritably,

"What took you so long?"

"I apologize," said Balun, making it obvious he didn't care for the Italian man at all. Blaise tensed, lifting his muscled arms to strangle the poor soul, but Ginny, ironically, jumped to the rescue. Using all of her small body weight to pull the muscular arms down,

"No, Blaise," she hissed, "They are our only way out of this, and dear Merlin I want to go home. I will not have you mess this up again!" He just hissed in annoyance, dropping his arms and glaring at the offending person. Adoni held up a long hollowed out stick reverently, clearly expecting the two to gasp in amazement at its apparent "awesomeness." Ginny had no idea what it was for as she stared utterly confused as he dropped his arms, clearly unhappy with the current reaction. The sides were decorated in colorful and beautiful engravings depicting dancing girls and animals of the wild.

"Wow," she whispered in awe, coming closer to trace the markings. Blaise yawned indifferently.

"Prat."

…

After Ginny finished admiring the long stick, Blaise pulled her back and asked waspishly,

"What is this?" He haughtily pointed at the flute-like thing, beyond annoyed; Adoni smiled,

"This is, of course, a didgeridoo, and your way, as you modern folks say it, 'out a' here'"

"And how, the bloody hell is this our way 'out a' here" Blaise hissed. Bringing the opening of the flute like thing to his lips, Adoni blew into it. Ginny stared at his chest, having a quite sick fascination at seeing how he could put out so much air into that thing to make that blasted noise shattering her ear drums. After three more short blasts, Adoni put the digi-deroo thing away and went back to watching the sunrise peacefully. Completely ignoring the tourists expressions of twin disbelief as they stared at the insane man. Balun held up one hand for silence, whispering as if telling one a great secret,

"Just wait." After five minutes, Ginny's patience was wearing thin and Blaise's had already snapped.

A small cloud gathered in front of the sun and Ginny couldn't help but think this all bared an awful lot of resemblance to the Muggle cowboy movies she had seen with Hermione and Luna. Yet, instead of a herd of horses riding to the rescue with dashingly handsome men dressed in cowboy boots and plaid shirts, there was a land rover driving towards them with an old women in the front seat. Her hair was also black, although not as curly, falling down her back in waves. She hopped out of the drivers seat, looking at the four assembled,

"You needed my assistance," she stated, rather than asked, Balun. Ginny grinned slightly, ducking her head in amusement as she saw the blush forming on the native man's cheeks. Blaise just scoffed and turned his head.

"Oh yes, Merri" Adoni pointed to the twoBritians'-as Balun was too busy stuttering and blushing at her level gaze,- "These two here, need a ride to the nearest city." Merri looked both of them over critically, Ginny flinched at her unwavering, piercing gaze but Blaise, bless his stunted soul, held his ground, keeping his head high. Men and their stupid pride, Ginny thought, shaking her head in exasperation.

…

As they rode in the back seat, hearing something resembling "not wanting foreigners to mess up her driving skills and destroy her baby," whatever that meant, Ginny closed her eyes, relishing the wind beating down on her peeling face. She opened her eyes hazily, feeling Blaise's burning gaze on her red face. She turned and met his eyes, smiling slightly,

"Yes?" He coughed, and Ginny grinned wider at his obviously discontent expression,

"We are never going to talk about," he paused, shaking his head, "this again, right?" Ginny just nodded solemnly,

"Never again."


	2. Crookshanks vs Cannon

Prompt of the Day: Secret

Pairing:Ron/Hermione

Rating: K+

Summary: Ron has a secret...shhhhhh! But don't tell Hermione!

A/N: So here is my newest plot, a little fluffy! Oh poor Ron... Starring: Crookshanks, Hermione, Ron, Harry, and guest star: Cannon. 

…

When Hermione Granger walked into the Burrow's kitchen, right before the start of her third year, to pick up her beloved orange cat...thing..., Crookshanks, she did not expect to see her little baby sitting perfectly innocent on the cracked tile floor, licking his paw (actually she expected the cat to act well-behaved), while on the other hand, Ronald Weasley was standing, comically, on a less-than-rickety chair, eyes wide in horror, mouth poised to yell at the cat. Harry on the other hand, was plastered to the wall, arms covered with bleeding scratches as he stared at her pet.

"What in the wizarding world?" The brunette gasped, kneeling down to stroke the poor things bitten ears as she glared horrified at the two incompetent boys. Crookshanks purred lovingly, running himself up and down her shins as she stood to her full height to reprimand the two.

"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY POOR CROOKSHANKS?" she shrieked,hysterical, as Ronald stared at her, wondering absently if his best friend had finally lost a few strings from studying to much. So, he decided to point out helpfully,

"That's no cat 'Mione! That thing is a bleeding menace to society!" He tried to growl (even though it ended up like an odd whimper) as the cat shrank back, yellow eyes glowing. Hermione just glared pointedly at the red-head, hand on hips, before cooing sweetly,

"Oh, my poor baby! How could Ron do such a thing?" Harry snickered in the background, his small cuts closing up slowly, as the irate witch spun on him,

"And you Harry, what did you do to Crookshanks?" Harry stared in disbelief, looking at Hermione, to his cuts, to the cat, and back to Hermione.

"Do you not see these cuts Hermione? That thing nearly clawed me to pieces!"

"Crookshanks would never have done that!" she stated heatedly, unwilling to believe that her beloved pet was anything but a perfect angel. The boys just stared, unable to comprehend what their previously very smart friend had just said.

"You've got to be kidding me 'Mione!"

"That thing is the devil's spawn-"

"Almost as evil as You-Know-Who-"

"Deserves to be locked up in-"

"Is a public nuisance-"

"Is pure evil!" They both yelled, pointing a shaky finger at the cat in her arms. Harry's glasses were askew, hanging off his nose as he scrambled back at the cat's menacing hiss. Ron's blue eyes gleamed wildly as he danced comically on top of the chair, holding onto the kitchen counter for support.

"I have no idea what you are talking about!" She shouted out loud, hair billowing around her head like a storm cloud. Hermione's eyes narrowed as the boys scrambled from their perches, warily making their way towards the door as she let the cat back down.

"Its staring at us!" whispered a scarred Ron at the equally scared Harry, as indeed, the cat fixed its yellow irises on the escapees.

A loud crash could be heard echoing from the garden into the kitchen as Crookshanks jumped up in surprise and came crashing back down, letting out a suprised yelp.

"Oh Crooky! Let momma hold you!" murmured Hermione, oblivious to "Crooky's" discontent expression as Harry stuck a tongue out immaturely. Another yelp could be heard as Ron winced,

"And there goes the Flutterby bushes..."

"What, is that?" She stated, enunciating each syllable slowly and deliberately.

"Um, well you see-"

"Ron has this-"

"Well-"

"I might have-"

"WHAT?" Harry winced, gesturing for Ron to elaborate on their stuttering as Hermione's face slowly turned bright red, squeezing the poor cat till it scrambled for release.

"Well-" He stuttered to another halt at their previously nice friend's glare; Harry stepped back, inching closer and closer to the open door.

"Don't. You. Dare. Move. One. More. Inch. Harry. James. Potter." Hermione hissed, long ago letting go the suffocating cat, letting it bolt under the table. Fixing one eye on Harry as he plastered himself to the wall, she turned her attentions straight back to the red-head, energy crackling in the room,

"So Ronald, what were you saying?" He was glowing beet red now, his cheeks threatening to surpass his hair, glowing maroon. As the petite witch stared, - or threatened to disintegrate with eyes alone for a better word- the lanky boy shrank twenty feet down under.

"Its not our fault I swear! We were just bringing in Cannon when that crazy cat attacked us and we had no idea what to do! So we tried to pull them apart but now we have scars because of that demon!" He blurted this all out in one breath, huff-ing and puff-ing as Hermione's face became deceptively calm. Of course, Ron did not realize that, with his lack of common sense and self-preservation, and so thinking that he was in her good books once again, if he ever was, he started off again.

"So 'Mione-" But of course, he was cut off by the stony witch in the room,

"And who is this Cannon, might I ask?" Harry and Ron exchanged glances conspiratorially, Should we tell her? They seemed to speak with eyes alone, Harry's worried, and Ron's just plain acceptance.

"WHAT?" Hermione was now on her last thread of patience, that really wasn't a thread at all but just an invisible string, indignant with what horrors that her two best friends could have dreamt up with this Cannon. Or maybe she was just jealous. No, that's not it, no sane man/woman would name their kid Cannon... Well Ron might... Shaking her head, she turned back to the freckle-faced boy as he opened his mouth to answer. Of course, he decided he need to wait for the dramatic pause(Harry was shaking his head, palming his face in exasperation at the idiocy that was his best friend) a loud yip vibrated across the room. In streaked a brown-patched little puppy, tongue hanging, ears flopping. 

Everyone disregarded the fact that the moment he entered the room, the forgotten deranged cat had yowled and hid behind a chair leg.

"Um well-"

"Who?"

"This is- uh- bloody hell-"

"Excuse me-"

"Hermione! Let him finish!"

"Hmph!"

"Well "Mione,"

"Don't 'Mione me!"

"Hermione!"

"Meet Cannon! Ta...da...?"

"..."

There was a long, tense silence, none able to breath for fear of Hermione's wrath, as her brown eyes slid from Harry fiddling with a patch in his shirt, to Ron's red face, then Crookshanks cowering in the corner, and the poor Cannon jumping up and down in excitement at the newcomer.

"So, this, is Cannon..." she said slowly, kneeling down and running a tentative hand down its back, scratching the dogs twitching ears. The boys in the corner let out a synchronised sigh of relief, until Hermione stopped cooing about how adorable the puppy was, leaving it to corner the screeching Crookshanks, and turning back to them.

"Oh no, as adorable as wittle Cannon is," she grinned dreamily for a breathtaking second before snapping back to them, "You are not getting off!"

"Look Hermione!"

"You have a dog and didn't tell me, even after I specifically told you poor Crookshanks abhors dogs!"

"Trust Hermione to say abhors," whispered Harry before snapping back to attention at the punch landing on his arm,

"Well, we didn't think-"

"You're right, you don't think!"

"Oi!"

"And when, did you get Cannon?" she demanded, watching Harry and Ron's glance at anywhere else but straight at her.

"Um-" murmured Ron, glancing away from Harry's shifty eyes,

"Maybe-"

"A week ago!" Harry couldn't take the pressure anymore, (for all the saving-the-world activities he got up to, he could never win against an agitated woman) breaking down completely, and staring straight at the brunette, formidable witch.

"So you are telling me," she started slowly, breathing in and out, calming her anxiety slowly... Until she saw Cannon tackle Crookshanks. The trio gasped in synchronised horror as Cannon clawed at Crookshanks fur. Tthe cat lept from his perch, screeching in horror and proceeding to run wildly around, skidding and crashing into tables and chairs as Riley yipped right behind him. She snapped, stalking up to them both and simultaneously slapping them both on the cheeks.

"OI!"

"OW! 'MIONE!"

"So you bought Riley, just to annoy Crookshanks!" She screeched, literally pulling out her hair in annoyance as the incompetent boys stuttered, red faced.

"Well not annoy perse, more mess around with." Ron winced at his loss of tact at Hermione's brassed off expression. Harry just bolted, dashing for the door before the irate girl could catch up with them, leaving Ron to deal with her. Hermione grinned suddenly, slightly manically, as she latched onto his arm like an octopus, tearing Crookshanks away and dragging them both into the garden,

"Let me tell you a secret!"


	3. Confusion of the Snarky

Prompt: for Thursday 30th June Secret

Pairing: Luna/Blaise and a side of Ginny/Draco

Rating: K+

Summary: Blaise...is confused.

Author Notes: For the Hogwarts Online Forum Prompt of the Day! So I was thinking, I really shouldn't be signing up for any more challenges since I already have at least three- but I figured I could bang this out so... here is my sorry attempt at multi-tasking.

-

Ok, so never mind, it was originally for the prompt but it didn't go the way I wanted it too so now... a one shot! 

…

Blaise Zabini was confused. So, utterly confused. If Draco Malfoy could see him in this state, staring glassy eyes at the cold wall, sitting on the floor with knees drawn up to his chest, he would surely shake his head in disgrace. Because, Blaise did not just simply loose his marbles, as Theodore Nott had mentioned one night when he stormed into the Common Room and slammed the door to his room. He was just, simply put, incredibly confused. The wall gave no certain answers, instead providing a million questions. Now Blaise was no idiot, after all, he was a Slytherin, and rightly so. If you asked any of his housemates (disregarding Draco) they would confidently, if albeit a little reluctantly, that he was one of the most clever, witty, and definitely devious Slytherins in their year. So, it is a once in a lifetime experience to see the Italian in any state other than cool, calm, collectiveness, something that Draco was sure to pick up on and use. After all, he was the only one who wouldn't be hexed the minute he opened his mouth to speak by the irate boy. They were the closest to "friends" that a Slytherin could get. Not that it stopped Blaise from blackmail ever since he had caught Draco and a little red-haired weasel (the girl mind you) in a quite compromising position. He had wasted no time in using this little piece of information to his advantage. He is a Slytherin after all. 

…

They sat leisurely under an old tree that provided the ultimate shade in the humid weather. Most transpired down to the crystal lake, taking advantage of the Giant Squid's happy mood to swim. Many eyed the Draco and Blaise like pieces of meat, just waiting to be torn apart by the mob of girls, but both of the Slytherins payed them no heed, instead puling out books they had "borrowed" to study for the Transfiguration exam that they had procrastinated on. Let it be known that Slytherin's do study, not just buy their way through Hogwarts with their Daddy's money. A loud laugh could be heard from the middle of the lake as Harry Potter waved to someone coming through the open doors towards the Golden Trio. Both boys didn't look up, instead focusing on reading the text. They had their grades to maintain after all. Blaise pulled off his heavy robes, leaving himself in Muggle jeans and a white shirt partially open. His bronzed skin glowed in the sun, even as Draco sneered at his Muggle attire. Rolling his eyes at his friend's attitude, he went back to studying.

They were interrupted by another shout of laughter-this time definitely feminine- in the lake. Draco's head snapped up and Blaise looked over concerned, it wouldn't do for him to get whiplash. A slow, smug smirk spread across his lips as he saw the blond's jaw clench in fury. None other than Ginny Weasley tackled Perfect Potter into the lake, splashing them both with a large wave and going under.

"Calm down mate!" Blaise didn't even bother to hid his smirk as Draco's grey eyes snapped to his face, glaring, before going back to drilling a figurative hole through the poor girl's skull. After a while of observing the amusing show, Blaise leaned back onto the trunk, allowing himself to watch the other occupants. Lavendar Brown wiggled one finger oddly at him, fluttering her eyes lashes dramatically. Sending a quick grin in her general direction, his eyes drifted away from the obnoxious girl, and landing on the blonde in the corner, conversing with a Ravenclaw- if the blue and bronze tie was his own-. She was clad in a two piece, simple and innocent, her blue eyes shining mysteriously as she grinned at the mere scrap of a boy. Absently, he figured that he was watching quite obviously, but he preferred the term, observing. It made more sense as to why he was blatantly booring his eyes into her shining hair, a little like how Draco had been two seconds earlier. He was broken out of his stupor as Draco tapped him none too gently on the shoulder, smirking at the dazed expression on Blaise's face,

"You're screwed mate." 

…

So now, we find the poor, confused boy staring at a wall-not even one with a pretty portrait- just a plain old stone wall, while his unhelpful friend skirted off to meet with his little shag-buddy. The last night, Blaise tossed and turned in his 60 Egyptian thread sheets, unable to fall asleep in fear that the image of a laughing Luna Lovegood would assault his mind the minute he slipped away. The Ravenclaw girl was beneath him after all, she was talking with Corner for Salazar's sake. 

The next morning, he figured his almond-shaped eyes would have been bloodshot from lack of sleep, with black bags hanging underneath disturbingly. But, Blaise abhorred being anything less than perfect, as did Draco,so he talked/blackmailed Draco into into casting a few cosmetic charms to cover his eyes imperfections. His pride had to be sacrificed to Draco's ridicule as he cast the appropriate spells. Too much trouble had been caused by his, as Draco put, 'little infatuation for the loony Ravenclaw.' First his ego, then his own pride, and now his BEAUTY? It was just too much.

...

After sitting for Merlin knows how long, Blaise picked his dejected self off the ground, and stalked into the fairly empty Great Hall for a quick pick me up to release some of his anxiety. Spotting Daphne Greengrass and her younger sister conversing in the corner, he dragged the older girl by the hand without ceremony into the nearest closet. She was notoriously known as the Slytherin slut. She asked no questions, he gave no answers, just focusing all his energy and anger into the bottle-blonde girl.

Letting a low,deep groan escape his throat as he slumped over the spent girl. Blaise leaned against the wall with one arm pushed against a pile of sponges. Daphne's foot threatened to trip over an empty bucket, as she grinned sultrily at the Tuscan boy,

"So?" Her green eyes gleamed with questions but he just pushed her away, standing quickly. He still wasn't satisfied! All the anger and the frustration had come back, now coupled with... guilt? Slytherin's don't feel guilt! His brown eyes flashed with anger as they snapped down to Greengrass's gaping form.

"Oh my," she whispered almost reverently. He growled in annoyance, picking himself up, nearly snarling in his agitation,

"What Daphne?"

"Oh sweet Salazar, Blaise." Her eyes were wide with awe, voice tapering off, as she smirked knowingly,

"You're attached!" He snapped, eyes flashing. Rarely did he lose him temper, but once he did...

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" But Daphne was a Slytherin for one reason, her pride was monumental, more than Draco's even.

"Blaise Zabini is attached to a girl!" She sang, laughing, pulling on her skirt, keeping green eyes trained on his angered form.

"What? Do you expect me to be a ponce?" He winced straight after, knowing quite a lot that he opened himself up for a derogatory comment. But, to his utter surprise, she just shook her head, a smirk dancing on her still plump lips,

"Its been a good run Blaise, but I'm not stupid enough to fuck an attached man." He growled, annoyed, unable to find a suitable comeback as they both started to dress back into their rumpled Hogwart's robes. Shaking his head, Blaise had every impression of pushing open the closet door when it cracked open itself, letting in a small stream of light in the otherwise dark room. Daphne let out a low hiss as the light assaulted the both of them.

"What the bleeding-"

"Oh! I'm, um, sorry-" the girl trailed off, shaking golden hair in front of her bright red cheeks as Blaise froze, eyes snapping to the petite girl shakily stepping back. Daphne's eyes darted in between Luna and Blaise, eyeing them both curiously before it all clicked. Her lips pulled into a small smirk and she let out a soft chuckle,

"Oh Blaise-" Smiling one more time, she dashed down the hall, hair flying, leaving the pair staring at each other. Luna's blue eyes stared, unwavering and searching. She spoke first.

"You're Blaise Zabini." He couldn't help but grin at her no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point attitude. It was quite refreshing from the evasive, critical way a normal Slytherin talks, he found.

"Yes, I suppose I am." He smirked at her nonplussed expression, her eyes sliding warily from his swollen lips, to misshapen clothes, back to mussed hair. She nodded, hair falling behind her back, that he just happened to notice, was very wavy.

"Well, its a...pleasure...to meet you Blaise Zabini." She paused, looking at him oddly with her head tilted to one side,

"Although I suppose meeting when you are infected by a Jarnin is not the best time... you should get that checked out!" Her pink lips stretched into an amused grin at his perplexed expression,

"Wha-?"

"They encourage passions and lust!" Blaise gaped at the odd girl, a grin tugging relentless at his lips,

"Whatever Lovegood. I'll leave you to your crazy ideas." As he stalked away with hands shoved into his pockets, he heard her whisper quietly, her musical voice carrying through the empty halls,

"Oh no Blaise. Not ideas, facts."


	4. LC's Perspective

Prompt: POV of Inanimate Object Challenge: Leaky Cauldron

Pairing: Hermione/Ron

Rating: T: For suggestive language, nothing horrible

Summary: The little old pub hidden from Muggle view has been around for ages, serving the needs of all wizards and witches of any age, from the likes of Voldemort, to the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter. It has seen it all.

A/N: So for **SlytherinPrincessxXx's** Challenge! I think it's cute... a little dark I guess... Thanks so so so so much to May (Reciprocal) for being my beta. I wouldn't be able to do this without her! I took everything you said into account May! Thanks! :D

"Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one"Albert Einstein

…

Since the day it was constructed to the now modern age, the Leaky Cauldron's main structure-as rickety, old, and smelly as it was- was teeming with more magic and mystery than anyone could ever imagine. Its moldy walls sang and hummed to its own lullaby as wizards and witches of any age came in and out, often stopping for a quick drink or to talk for hours with colleagues. The little old pub hidden from Muggle view has been around for ages, serving the needs of all wizards and witches of any age, from the likes of Voldermort, to Harry Potter. It has seen it all.

The dusty walls had endured everything, from the first Great War, to ricocheting spells of small, unsuspecting children; from drunkards itching for a fight, to even one or two odd little creatures who decided to bang their round-ish heads onto the planks. After the hyped up energy from the war against a mysterious man had ended, the Leaky Cauldron slowly and surely started to age away as the wizarding world hesitantly settled back into its mold. After all, the building didn't very well care who, or what, disturbed the Ministry politics, it was quite content to just sit, watch, and observe

Now, the old, seedy bartender, Tom as he was called, had been around almost as long as the little pub itself. Spending year after year, decade after decade, catering to any who came in, cleaning dirty glasses and offering room to all those staying, good or evil. The Cauldron didn't pay attention much to the man, preferring to sleep like a tree that had reached its peak, but, when he did choose to observe the man, there was just silent contemplation. He was quite useful, sweeping any little dust bunnies that had escaped, cleaning the filthy bar...

…

After the first decade or so, the Leaky Cauldron slowly stopped paying attention to the hours, days and weeks, each blending in to the last. Unless there a raging fire magically appeared, heading straight towards them, threatening to burn the building down, there wasn't much to keep track of. So, when another little brown haired witch with hair as brown and curly as the little dust bunnies sitting in the cracks, he didn't pay much attention. Even as she oohed and ahhhed as she took in the place, the LC (as he secretly liked to be called, it had finesse. Not like Leaky Cauldron. Who even names a place that?) just listened, bored, letting its invisible gaze slide to the little women in the back nursing a brownish drink. It was obvious, if the burly too large man was anything to go by, that she had never heard of witches before this day, but LC couldn't care less about one's blood. Blood led to problems, problems lead to spirit, spirit led to pride, pride led to ego, and (from what he believed) ego led to war. Case one: The First Great War.

The war wasn't over, as so many other were so willing to believe. Humans were quite...gullible. And stubborn. They refused to believe in reality, clinging to the little fantasy that they constructed for themselves. After all, only a building could ever see the truth while mankind danced in and out of their little fairy tales. The forest winds whispered to a docking ship set off the coast, bringing word of a less-than-human walking the grounds. The ships lulling voice brought the news to a broom ready to be sold, and soon, the news was brought to the attention of the Leaky Cauldron's ears. News traveled fast through the grapevine. Madam Puttifoot's had after all reported to have seen a Ms. Skeeter skulking the Hogsmeade pathway just yesterday. The building did have a penchant for gossip.

…

When a hoard of red-headed men and two women walked in leisurely through the murky doors, the walls paid no heed, preferring to fall asleep instead. As the group sat down at one of the tables and ordered a round of drinks, the chatter increased tenfold and the invisible ears of LC couldn't help but perk up. He was a gossiper at heart, even if he was loath to admit it. Another boy came dashing threw the doors, glasses askew on his lopsided nose and black hair wild. He resembled a man who, long ago, always seemed to carry around dungbombs, sneaking in at the dead of night. Sources heard that he was long gone already, drifting with his red-headed wife in the clouds.

The group waved, one of the taller boys, with a massive amount of brown dots on his face, jumped up, hugging the green-eyed boy, laughing enthusiastically, before dragging him to the seat on his right. The other boy's eyes twinkled, sitting down after saying a few choice words to the obviously oldest man. The rest just grinned, the younger red-haired girl blushing bright tomato red and ducking her head under the wooden table as he sat next to her. As they chattered mindlessly about a man with an unfortunate name-'You-Know-Who'-and the two adults talked all sneaky like about a "mad" man named Sirius Black (another unfortunate name), LC started to slowly tune them out, focusing his divided attentions on an amusing hag drinking herself tipsy.

A loud crash vibrated against the outer walls drawing the Leaky Cauldron's divided attention to the small brown haired girl falling over as she dropped a cup of water that 'ol Tom had procured. Contrary to the Shrieking Shack's belief, the pub did have an amazing memory, able to remember every single face after only glancing at said face once. Only Ollivander's ever beat him in memory, or magical level. That place was so filled with magic that it had become arrogant, that little...

As LC shook himself out of his little day dream featuring Ollivander's, a torch, and lots of flammable objects (wood being the star player in his evil scheme), the girl -Hermi-nie was it- had set herself in between the redheaded girl and scarred boy (what a peculiar scar it was) and started jabbering away, while pulling book after book after book from her bag. The Leaky Cauldron soon lost count and drifted away once again, drinking in the mildew growing on his walls. Ahhh, such a great stimulant.

…

LC had long ago ever given up on blocking the horrible noises that seemed to emanate from the walls itself. IT always happened like a clockwork, an underage couple would stumble in, groping each other with a large lack of decorum, Tom would stare on impassive, eyes seeking out a little niche in the wall where small mice lay, and handed the room key's to the couple, soon...groans. It was sickening. He always grew mold faster when he could hear the loud creaks as they screamed.

Yet, today, the whole pub was empty. Dusty tables and chairs creaked as a draft swept through; Tom polished glass after glass even though no patrons walked through the dirty doors. A loud commotion could be heard outside thin walls as shouts from wizards and spells ricocheting off the walls could be heard clearly. The fear and terror the "Dark" wizards induced was horrifying, yet as LC watched in abject fascination as a "warrior of the all-mighty Light" dragged away an impregnated woman, magic wand at the throat, the little pub no one noticed saw with clear eyes, the Light was every bit as bad as the Dark, even if they thought themselves pure. In war, you needed to make sacrifices, shield yourself from the cruel reality, and no one knew that better than the Leaky Cauldron.

…

The world was wreaking havoc, drunk men (and women) stumbled through the creaking doors every minute as they shouted their congratulations to one "Harry Potter." Streamers were tossed and trampled on as everyone gathered in the tiny pub, stretching it to the limit. Everyone wanted to be there to watch on the telly when Harry would vanquish evil and kill the dreaded "Voldermort." It was like when all the rowdy Muggle men lined up to watch the sport, "football." Ironic that they would watch but not actually participate in the actual fight.

Suddenly, a great thundering shout was heard-'round-the-world (you think that's just a saying? Oh no, it actually happened, LC was witness) as everyone started to dance and sing, crying and laughing as bottles were tossed in the air or chugged down. When there was a time to celebrate, humans drank. The pub could never understand how their minds worked sometimes. Confetti was launched in the air as couples kissed, mothers cried, men shouted and poured into the streets, to the confusion of clueless non-magical beings. And LC saw, with a clear view of the bright screen, the abnormally-scarred, black haired boy standing triumphant, a smug smile on his face as two others flanked both sides. The tall red-haired boy—who he had once heard from Three Broomsticks chugged a whole mug of Butterbeer in one gulp—stood to his right, eyes shining, grinning into the camera. How odd. Yet, on the other side of the Boy-Who-Lived, a girl of medium-height stood, head held high. Her brown hair was the same as when she was thirteen, but matted and tangled, hanging messily into her eyes. Unlike the smug looks on her counterparts, the young girl- Granger was it?- looked ready to faint and sink towards the ground, weary of all the attention garnered from "saving the Wizarding world." Wizards surrounded them, cheering, obscuring the trio from view. But the Leaky Cauldron knew -just like he knew that even as the war patrons celebrated, the mice would still crawl, trying to gnaw at his walls-, he knew that they would come back more battered than ever, trying to rebuild the devastated world. Picking and torturing the Dark followers, just as the Dark had once done to them. Reality, still obscured by fantasy.


	5. The Consequences of Boredom

Challenge/Prompt**:** Bored in Class Challenge (open-ended)  
>1) Read a book, and when class starts, raise your hand and say that they are interrupting your reading<br>2) Narrate your life  
>3)Speak in improper English like ain't, and when the teacher corrects, nod like you understand and continue to speak improperly.<p>

Pairing: Hmmm there's no real pairing but... starring the antics of James Potter and Sirius Black

Rating: K+

Summary: Oh the dangers of putting a Black and Potter together...

A/N: So this is basically an all "dialogue/note passing" fic! :D Oh and the breaks (...) are just to acknowledge when there is dialogue and when its note passing! More dialogue that notes...this didn't turn out how I planned at all... But I still love it!

James: Normal font  
><strong>Sirius: Bold <strong>

…

"Move it Snivellius!"

"Watch it Pothead!"

"Oi! Get out of my way Black!"

"Make me Snape!"

"Oomph."

"..."

(laughs)

"Potter!"

"Lilykins! How-"

"You git!"

"... You know you love me Evans."

"Get out of my way Potter before I hex you into next week!"

"Aww Lily-flower, go out with me!"

"_Avis! Oppugno!" _

"Oi! Evans! Ouch!

"Damn it! Get these things off-!"

"Oi, watch the face!"

"They're trying to peck out my bloody eyes!"

"_EVANS! BLACK! POTTER!"_

"Oh hello Minnie, didn't expect to see you here!"

"I can explain-"

"I don't want to hear it Ms. Evans! And Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, 30 points from Gryffindor and a week of detention, each!"

"Minnie!"

"Want me to make it two Mr. Potter?"

"..."

"I shall see you in class."

"..."

"I think she loves me!"

"You're delusional Potter."

"James. As a true friend and fellow Marauder. Get your head checked."

…

"This book is very stimulating, don't you think dear Padfoot?"

"Why yes, very educational Prongs."

"You're holding them upside down."

"That fact just changed my whole perspective, why thank you Ms. Evans."

"Is _the _Sirius Black actually _reading? _"

"Why yes I am m'dear Lily, yes I am."

"Gits."

"Oi, not in front of the innocent of mind!"

"Class, please take out your parchment and quills so we may begin taking notes."

"Professor."

"Yes Mr. Black?"

"I'm quite sorry, but I must inform you that you are interrupting my very productive reading."

"You're books still upside-down Mr. Black."

"Damn."

"Language Mr. Black."

"Yes, Minnie."

(sigh)

"..."

…

**James, put your eyes back where they belong.**

What?

**Your eyes are popping out.**

No they aren't!

**...**

Shut up Black.

**Ooh! You're bringing out the last names now, Potter.**

**...James? You there?**

I think she might love me.

**Who? Our absolutely adorable Minnie?**

_NO_! My _LILY-FLOWER_!

**Sure. That's why your dear Evans over there is glaring at us.**

No, she is just admiring my masculinity.

**Right. I will now leave and check you into St. Mungo's. Or better yet, bring you to Trelwaney, so you two can be Divination buddies. **

…

**I'm back! Mungos says they will gladly administer you into their mentally challenged ward. **

I am so glad you care about my well-being.

**I'm sure you are. What would you do with out me?**

Be sane.

...

"Potter, shut up!"

"Lily! Come on!"

"Stop it! I need to take notes."

"Why I love you too Lily."

"..."

"I think she's in shock James."

"Why would she be in shock?"

"Cause you professed your love for her."

"Oh. Okay then. What's with girls and that being a big deal? Well, Lily, are you there?"

"... Get away from me Potter."

"See? Undying love. Haven't you ever heard of the term, 'opposites attract.'?"

"That term is bull."

"Good to know."

"Shut it Black."

"Evans. Black. Potter. Kindly turn your attention back to the lesson, lest you would like to loose more house points."

"Yes, Professor."

"I ain't gonna talk no more Minnie."

"Mr. Potter, I think you are old enough to know how to speak in proper English. And please refrain from calling me 'Minnie'."

"Of course Mr. Professor, ma'm."

"Mr. Black."

"Professor McGonagal!"

"Yes Mr. Potter?"

"I ain't got no quill to write with! Could ya'll lend me a quill?"

"Yeah, I got no parchment Professor. I ain't got nothin' to write on!"

"..."

"Mr. Potter. Mr. Black."

"Yeah?"

"Two more weeks of detention for disrupting class."

"But-"

"Minnie!"

"Now, today, we will be starting our first lesson on Human Transfiguration. Do not take this lightly as there are disastrous consequences for performing this wrong. Not many accomplished wizards use this on a daily basis. The Ministry standard is for you to perfect your Cross-species Transfiguration and leave it there. I do not agree, I believe that-"

…

I can't believe she ignored us...

**How rude of our dear Professor! She needs to set a better standard for us students!**

Indeed Sirius, indeed.

**This is not a productive class is it James?**

No. What gave you that idea?

**The fact that we are passing notes Jame-sie. **

Aren't you smart?

**Thank you for noticing my infinite intelligence Prongs.**

You're welcome.

…

"James. Do stop passing notes between us."

"MOONY! MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY SAVIOR!"

"Mr. Potter!"

"..."

"Thought Evans was your love, life, savior. She might get jealous!"

"You wish Potter."

"Lily! Have you come to save me from my death?"

"You have no idea how much I wish you were dead Potter."

"..."

"What death, Prongs?"

"Why, my death caused my horribly, tragic life!"

"Right. And _how _is your life horrible and tragic?"

"Well! I started off as a lonely child, with no real toys or money-"

(cough) "Liar." (cough)

"The only thing I had to play with was my little teddy bear-"

"And a broom, tea set, menagerie of stuffed animals, kneazle, crup-"

"You had a _tea set?"_

"Stop interrupting!"

"Sorry, sorry. Do keep telling us of your tragic life story."

"I will! And once I received my Hogwarts letter, I was so elated that I wasn't a Squib-"

"Elated? Really, James?"

"..."

"Anyway, and then I came to Hogwarts! I didn't fair any better! Lonely, depressed, bored..."

"..."

"..."

"What am I? Chopped liver?"

"Why Padfoot, I never knew you felt that way!"

"..."

"As I was saying. I was just sad. Until you arrived my Lily-kins, the love of my life! Then, everything became all sunshin-y! With butterflies and blooming flowers like in those Muggle movies!"

"..."

"I thought Remus was the love of your life."

"Aww, he got demoted. Poor Moony. Do you need me to help comfort you?"

(sniffle)

"..."

"I'm fine."

"He's coping so well."

"MR. POTTER! MR. BLACK! MR. LUPIN!"

"..."

…

Oh and:

Avis: Creates a flock of charmed birds  
>Oppugno: Causes conjured objects to attack.<p>

_Information from Wikipedia: Harry Potter List of Spells_


	6. In which Bunnies are EVIL

Challenge: The Boggart Challenge for Taragh McCarthy

Prompt: Nymphadora Tonks

Rating: K+ (One teensy, eensy word. And bunnies. Lots and lots of evil bunnies)

Summary: *WARNING* Not for the faint of heart: contains evil seducing bunnies.

A/N: Fun randomness! Dedicated to one of my friends, and a bunny-hater, Kenny. Who as he says : "a bunny that seduces people." Yep, he got the gist of it. He wasn't much of a help, but he was there to "support" so... I tried to make this light...I hope it worked... I'm delusional. I've lost it...bunnies...

Due: August 15

…

Rabbits were just plain evil.

There was just no way around that single common truth. Whether they were small, fluffy little bunny-devils in disguise, or full-grown, fat rabid beasts, they could strike fear into the fiercest of hearts. With their suspiciously long ears-all floppy and folded over- you would think that You-Know-Who would have been smart enough to use these dangerous creatures as little weapons. They could be easily used to smuggle illegal items in the Ministry by their impossibly large ears and fluffy cuteness.

That wasn't the worst though.

They could charm anyone with their apparent "cuteness factor". With their fat bodies all covered in fluff, no one can resist the "_hug_". The moment you scoop them up though, they will _attack _you! Using their beady little black eyes as a distraction as an unsuspecting person strokes them, they open their pink mouths and everyone _awws_ at the apparent "cute sleepiness." But _you _know the truth; the moment no one pays attention, the little Death Eaters-in-training sink their razor sharp incisors into your neck. Of course, no one notices, they just think you've lost yourself for a few moments, cooing at the little thing as it once again sets innocent eyes upon you. Plain evil.

The eyes, the fluffy fur,and _even_ the cursed, long ears, don't come _close_ to the worst of a bunny's magical charm though. No, the worst was that little, twitching black or pink nose and the waving, cotton-ball tail. When the eyes and fluff-ball fur fail to seduce the unfortunate victim, the rabbit pulls out all the stops, hopping forward cutely, eyes wide, and ears all floppy. _Then _they would twitch their little nose, sniffing delicately, and wave their damn cotton-ball tails like a dog, hopping up next to the victim;the poor person just _can't _help but scoop them up, giving the rabbits free rein to bite like a vampire!

Many of these "bunny-haters"-as they were called- clung to the far-fetched (as many non-haters believed) idea that these bunnies and rabbits would one day produce in mass quantities, using their undeniable cuteness factor to take over the Muggle world (because _obviously _Muggles are more susceptible to the charm) and then head over and hop on to the Wizarding world. One of these adamant believers just happened to be half-blood, young Auror, Metamorohmagus extraordinaire: Nymphadora Tonks.

…

Ever since that one innocent trip into the stereotypical, grassy meadow where poor 'Dora bore witness to the horrifying scene of a small, fuzzy little bunny hopping up to an innocent looking snake as it slithered through the grass and proceeding to eat it whole, she had never been able to look at the little beasts the same again. That one trip had mentally scarred the poor girl for life, setting her up for a life full of horrors.

At the age of eleven, Tonks had been skipping happily through the menagerie, peering innocently at swelling frogs, skipping toads, and a peculiar tortoise with emeralds decorated its back, when she got to the cages in the back. A whole aisle was filled with cage, upon cage, upon cage, of fluffy little animals with beady eyes, twitching noses, and large floppy ears. The terrified girl needed no more incentive, clinging to a bag of rabbit feed and screaming her bloody head off, sending all employees running as she sunk to the floor, unable to move from fear of being eaten alive by the fluffy devils.

Needless to say, Ted Tonks never took the hysterical girl near any fluffy animal again.

…

When little Teddy Lupin was born, the whole family was in an uproar. After all, he was the child of a werewolf. The new grandmother became terrified, unable to comprehend what could happen if her little Teddy grew up to be a werewolf as well. Yet, after a week of fretting and standing over his crib and chewing her fingernails to the nub, Andromeda finally sighed and declared that her adorable, blue-haired grandson was _not _a werewolf after all, but a perfectly normal human being.

Of course, just to mess with her satisfied daughter (she was a Black after all), Andy decided that, for Teddy's "One-month Anniversary" into the real world, she would present her darling "Teddy-bear" with a stuffed rabbit. Not just those minuscule ones that a Muggle called a "toy," but one of those giant plus-sized ones that were a good foot taller than little Teddy. And if that wasn't enough, the giant toy had to have a twitching nose, moving eyes, ears and tail as well.

When Tonks had opened the ginormous, ostentatiously gold-wrapped box and peered inside, she had received the shock of her life, falling back, hand fluttering to her pale forehead as the toy's nose twitched, and ears flopped. When Little Teddy flew at the animal, hugging its fluffy fur and playing with its floppy ears, she fainted.

Andy had just grinned, walking leisurely back into the kitchen in search of a wet towel to revive her pale daughter, leaving her grandson to enjoy the gift while it lasted. As she slowly moved the towel back and forth over Dora's pale forehead, Teddy sat, shakily, pulling the rabbit down forcefully. Slowly, Andy watched it fall, the bunny falling on top of her grandson, completely burying him in a mass of fur. The toy was easily two times his size, so she hurriedly pulled the rabbit up, smiling gently at Teddy's gurgling laughter. As she sat and played with his little hands, her daughter slowly started to awaken once again, eyes glazed, incredibly confused. The moment she saw the large bunny propped against the wall, Tonks fell back again, hand to her forehead, eyes staring at the ceiling.

It was no surprise to Andy or Remus that the moment Teddy got tired of playing with the bunny and graduated to coloring books and pulling heads off barbies, the rabbit mysteriously disappeared. Remus couldn't care less, he ate bunnies and rabbits for dinner all the time.

…

Even though the mentally scarring menagerie and horrifying toy bunny incident were both_ truly _heart attack worthy events, the absolute worst, and most terrifying encounter had to be on a routine trip around the Ministry. Tonks had been walking into an empty, unused Ministry courtroom, not looking back to see if her partners-in-protection were behind her. Pretty standard. Kingsley and Remus followed, not really paying attention as they did routine inspections of the building. As the trio turned to leave for their next destination, Tonks sidestepped to the side, running into a rickety chair, sending it over, and letting it crash down to the floor with a loud, echoing bang in the otherwise, silent courtroom. The one chair set off a domino affect, the long row of otherwise, silent, chairs falling over, startling them all. All three Aurors jumped in surprise, wand at the ready.

If that wasn't enough (after all, picking up all those chairs was quite back-breaking labor), the loud crash startled a mystery in the little closet where many hung their coats...and did...other things. Kingsley coughed, eyes watching the closet warily. Remus just rolled his eyes in exasperation, hurrying over to pull the chairs up before Wizengamot got wind of the fact that three highly trained Aurors had somehow managed to knock over all the chairs in one swipe. Kinglsey followed, unwilling to be the first to encounter the "thing."

SO, of course, it was once again left to the girl to handle all the hard-work, gritty labor. Even if she was the apparent fiercest of the three, Tonks still approached the rattling closet with apprehension, almost positive a boggart was in there. If there was...well, she would never live down the humiliation.

"_Alohomora_, " she whispered, watching the doors swing open. A shadow moved, and out hopped the boggart. The black eyes peered at her innocently. So, sShe screamed. Stumbling back, Tonks clung to the corner of a desk, face pale, limbs shaking. Kingsley and Remus were on her in a second, dropping the chairs and rushing over to see if she was alright.

"Tonks," the Head Auror cried, fiddling with his earring as he tried to find out what had terrified Tonks so badly, wand at the ready, pointed towards the door. Remus held a hand to her forehead, running a soothing hand up her back.

"Merlin, what happened?"

"Twitching...long ears... fluffy..." she murmured, eyes wide, face a ghostly white.

"Come again?" She screamed again, pointed a shaking figure towards the advancing boggart, eyes wild.

"THAT!" Remus and Kingsley stared, one eyebrow raised as a small, fluffy bunny hopped towards them, nose twitching, ear flopping, and eyes trained on Tonks.

"A bunny...?"

"Get away from me!" Tonks screamed, scrambling for cover, trying to get as far away as humanely possible without actually moving, her wand left alone on the table. Its eyes glowed red, mouth pulled into an inhumane grin, bearing two fangs as its nose twitched again.

She fainted.

Remus, who had finally pulled himself from his shock at seeing the boggart in the form of a bunny, brandishing his wand as the bunny turned glowing eyes on him, before changing into a full moon.

"_Riddikulus_!" He didn't spare it a glance as he ran over to where Kingsley was tending to the prone form of a reviving Tonks. Her eyes fluttered open, dark as night, hair a deep red,

"Bunnies...fangs...evil...scary!"

"Oh dear."

"Bunnies, Tonks? You're scared of bunnies?"

"They're evil, out to get us all!"

"Right, lets get you home."

"The Aurors wont care that we didn't finished today."

The END!

No...wait...

**EPILOGUE**

But, of course, that very day that the trio of Kingsley, Remus, and Tonks decided to cut their inspection short and bring Tonks back to her home to rest, the Death Eaters came and attacked the Ministry. With bunnies.

NOW! The end.


End file.
